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The Torah & Pre-Marital Sex
Quite often I receive questions from folks I’ve never met. I’m always honored to share my perspective on controversial topics such as this one. There are a lot of false teachings going around about God’s view of pre-marital sex. However, there is only one truth and the following is my attempt to explain God’s response to the question from the purview of the Torah. After all, He wrote the Torah to instruct His creation in life-issues in order to protect them and show His love toward us all. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I promise that I will present the Torah’s response to this question with clarity and honesty, even if the conclusion isn’t popular. I pray you will open your heart to hear the Word of Adonai to us as it was written in love from a Father’s heart to His children.
Joshua and Rebekah began dating and soon found themselves attracted to one another. They decided to “go steady” and work on building a lasting relationship. Setting boundaries around themselves, they planned very early on to remain chaste until marriage if the relationship should lead toward that end.
Their relationship included corporate worship services, serving together in the homeless shelters and sharing the Gospel in the local rest homes. Their commitment to God was continually growing and a strong witness to everyone. Not even their parents ever suspected the level of temptation they were beginning to feel as their relationship grew closer because they knew how committed they were to the boundaries they had set in order to glorify God in their relationship and set an example to others.
After months of their deepening relationship, Joshua asked a trusted friend whom he considered to be a mentor full of godly wisdom, if he could speak to him privately. Joshua poured out his heart revealing a growing struggle with temptation to cross that line in their relationship. His response, however, wasn’t as wise as he had hoped for; his feeling was that it couldn’t be wrong if the couple loved each other and God. He told Joshua that marriage is a commitment before God to remain faithful to one another and that can be done at any time prior to (or even after) the cultural wedding ceremony. He felt that God would never allow the couple to be tempted beyond that which they could handle and that there was nothing specific in scripture forbidding it saying, “There is no commandment forbidding it, so how can it be sinful in in God’s eyes if you are committed to Him and each other?”
Joshua stood there rather perplexed since this was not the answer he thought he would hear. So, they talked about it a little bit. His mentor went on to talk about a lot of things that are cultural taboos which are not forbidden in the Bible. He told Joshua that many times we get ourselves into trouble when we don’t understand the breadth of God’s forgiveness, even if we do something wrong or out of ignorance and he felt this included sex before legal marriage. While he didn’t think it was forbidden in Scripture, even if it was there was already provision made to cleanse them from sin so he shouldn’t put themselves under so much pressure to abstain if they truly loved each other and had made that commitment to remain faithful to each other for life.
In the meantime, Rebekah spoke to…….
John serves as a congregational leader of a Messianic Jewish congregation in Tucson, AZ. He has a deep love for his Jewish brothers and sisters, and for the Hebraic context of our faith. John considers discipleship as one of his chief concerns and he works to make disciples of Yeshua (Jesus) through example, counseling and teaching the Hebraic understanding of our faith. John and his wife, Yvonne, live in Tucson, AZ, along with their two wonderful children.
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